Somewhere... over the rainbow... Okay, just kidding. Somewhere, in some jungle that nobody really knows the exact location to, maybe except for the people there already... we find a very goofy team of, um... explores trekking through the canopy, and as you can expect, nobody’s particularly thrilled with it either.


And look who we’ve got here? The governor of Hell’s 18th sector, a certain Herr Vehrzimmel, and what possibly has to be the world’s oldest, dumbest, not to mention ugliest Boy Scout you can ever hope to find in some dangerous backwater jungle or anywhere else for that matter. And nobody’s getting along with each other too well, either.


“Argh! Why can’t you just carry your own stuff, you ugly, old manwhore?!”


“You insolent urchin! How dare you call me that! I’m going to fucking kill you for that!”


“Don’t kill him just yet, will you? I would rather not carry all the supplies myself...”


Even with what must be a ton of supplies that may or may not be necessary to carry along on a quest like this one on his back, the obnoxious, loud-mouth “urchin” still tries to pick a fight with well, the man who’s actually supposed to be his master, at least up till he works off a certain little debt he owes in exchange for his life.


Yay. Like that’s going to earn him any brownie points, no... whatever it is Boy Scouts get, not that he’s even one to begin with, but oh, well... Anyways, let’s just say Iseii here finds it highly unamusing that some stupid, boastful oaf from who knows where would talk to him that way, so just what does he do about it?


“You’ve insulted me for the last time! Prepare to die!”


Out comes that big rifle of his, and it gets aimed right at Mr. Smarty-Pants here, who finally decides to shut his big mouth and behave right for once...


“Oh, oh... I’m sooooooo scared! The ugly, old manwhore is going to shoot me with his make-up gun!”


Or maybe not, but just what did you think he got his face “re-decorated” for? Well that was an obvious one, but on the other hand... is there even such thing as a make-up gun?


“Mein Gott... Not this again...”


Anyways, Viktor, being every bit aware just how stupid he looks in his little Boy Scout-looking outfit that Iseii has him wearing, not to mention feeling every ache and pain caused by lugging around a big, stupid pack all by himself on his back, decides he’s going to duke it out with someone who has a gun. Yes, he’s really outrageous enough to do it. Stupid, huh?


“If you think I’m being mean to you now, wait till it’s time for you to officially go to Hell!”


To really make his point clear, Iseii jabs Viktor with the barrel of the rifle, and this pretty much prompts him to strike up one of his characteristically boastful macho man poses.


“Bring it on, grandma! Let’s see what you’ve got! I’ll have you know that I’m–“


Oh, look. Too bad so sad for him, because all it takes is one little push and he falls right back, on account of the heavy load he’s carrying, of course, and we have Zimmel to thank for that. Well, it doesn’t look like the problem is completely solved, though, because this just makes him yell and curse and thrash around more than ever, much more than ever.


“That’s it! I’m kicking your ass, too, you creepy shapeshifting freak!”


And after plenty of screaming, screaming, and more screaming, we have... yes, even more of it, because our idiotic friend here just doesn’t know the meaning of shut up, if he even knows the meaning if anything at all. And after a really long while of screaming that doesn’t even have to be described, he finally gets tired. Yay, everybody rejoice.


“Dear Iseii...”


“What?”


“Don’t you think we should get moving already?”


“That was what I’ve been saying for the last hour or so.”


If he had any energy for talking, at this point, Viktor would be doing a very inaccurate and very annoying imitation of this exchange. Of course after screaming random curses and outrageous, nonsensical threats for who knows how long without any pause, that’s just not about to happen, not that he’s even got any more energy to get up and keep walking.


Wanting to finally get the quest rolling along, Iseii tries to get his, um... servant... to get up and get his ugly, boney ass in gear. But hey, who wants to touch him? Just looking at him is bad enough, so... one look is all it takes to tell Zimmel to do it, and after a try or two... no, he can’t even make the big oaf budge.


“Just how much do you weigh, dummkopf? You have to be at least four hundre--”


“Speak for yourself, fat-ass! Telling by how much you eat, you have to weigh a ton!”


Now begins yet another really stupid argument, which touches just about every stupid form of reasoning known to mankind, and...


“Will you two shut up and move already?!”